It really is as bad as they say. I needed to change my car registration and get a new license and I was anticipating a long day. Oh boy.
First of all, I was already a bit miffed because I had to put on makeup and do my hair. Usually my days off are of the "wash and wear" type. But who am I kidding - my first license picture was unexpected. My dad (after saying we were not getting my license on my 16th birthday) drove me to the DMV on my 16th birthday. And it was after a really long day on the farm where I tied my hair in a wet bun and let it dry that way. I had no makeup, braces, and bad hair. At 16, it's mortifying. My mom could probably post a photo of that first picture if she finds it.
I had done some research on how to change all of the things I needed changed in California and it included a laundry list of supplies. Things like: passport, social security card, title, vehicle registration, insurance, current license, smog test certificate, and all of these fees (the DMV does not accept credit, so you're likely carrying around a bunch of cash). It's basically all of the stuff you're not supposed to carry around with you at the same time. If ever you're a good candidate for mugging or identity theft it would be when you're headed to the DMV.
Let's break this up into parts.
1. The smog test
California requires all newly registered cars to have a passing smog test. Everyone else has to do it every two years.
Who knows what they do in there, but one of the categories for passing or not passing is "smoke". And there's an additional fee for an out of state car. Of course. Because that makes a difference.
I did get to watch First Take while I waited though. They made sure my car didn't light on fire and I paid them $50.
It became apparent pretty quickly that I was not going to have time for lunch today...so I went with what was available.
2. Car registration
Someone online passed along a life pro-tip when I was doing my research. Go to the AAA office to get your registration changed. It's cleaner and faster. I wanted to hug them when I realized this was possible. I filled in a few forms and waited for someone to get done helping the old folks plan their trips to Hawaii. After about an hour I was in.
California gives new residents 10 days to get a new license and 20 days to register their cars or else there are two penalty fees. I've been here since mid-August. First of all, this timeline set by the DMV is a complete crock of shit. I had been hearing that I should make an appointment so I didn't have to wait in line at the actual office (this was before I knew about my AAA option). So I was experimenting last night with the online appointment reservation system. Say, hypothetically, that I arrived in California yesterday and wanted to change my license within the correct non-penalized time frame. Nope! Next available appointment isn't until February 17th. It's also really really impossible to jump through all of their hoops in the appropriate time frame.
As I was filling in the registration form, there was a space to fill in where you had to say the date your car entered California.
So I lied.
And it worked.
Love the AAA place.
3. The DMV
Unfortunately, the AAA office can't do license renewals or changes so I had to make an appearance at the DMV. If anyone has heard any horror stories about California DMVs, they are all true.
First, there was a line to even get into the building.
Unlike other DMVs, you can't walk in and take a number. You have to fill in the appropriate forms, show them to a person at the front, and then you get a number. I noticed the person at the front hated their life (true for all DMV employees everywhere) and wasn't really looking over the forms - and giving them back. I filled in a few things and brought it back to him so I could get my number quicker. Then I actually filled it out while I was waiting.
I had a good few minutes to plan my strategy. This is what the inside of the building looked like once you made it to the front of the outdoor line:
Never in my life have I seen so many people inside a DMV. And this was only one side of the office - there were rows of chairs along the right hand side too. I knew I was doomed. So doomed.
Listening to books. For a few hours........
Once it was my turn, I had to take the vision test - which always freaks me out. My eyes are baaaaaaddd without correction. And I haven't been to the eye doctor in a year. I wasn't sure if my vision was 20/20 anymore, but my worries were totally unfounded. Not only am I not sure if the lady even listened to me when I was listing off the letters, but she didn't even glance in my direction. I could have had both of my eyes open the entire time and she wouldn't have noticed.
Then she said the most awful sentence: "Ok, go to window 20 to have your picture taken and take your test".
and take your test
It was a requirement to take the written driving test again. WHY DO THEY NOT TELL YOU THIS ONLINE????
So I winged it. Whatever. I don't even know how many questions you had to get right.
I'm going to try to avoid the DMV for the rest of my entire life.
4. BONUS!
I need to renew my passport soon. But first I needed it to get my new license. Earlier this week I filled out the passport forms and had my new photo taken. With the idea of "shopping local" I went to a little drugstore near my work to get the pictures. Didn't work. They were blurry, but the woman claimed they were not - after taking my money. So I left. I didn't have the energy to push the issue when she was having a hard time operating her 1997 digital camera in the first place.
Off to CVS I went. Perfect.
I should have known that the first pictures weren't going to be great. Just compare the packaging here.
Here's the "not blurry" picture:
And the actual one I'm going to use:
