Fishing tales

My old college friend Gabe visits for a few days and even though we haven't seen each other in about five years, everything goes exactly as expected:

-Gabe pulls up Friday night 7/31, car rattling, not a good sign.

-Terry drives Gabe to the fishing pier Saturday morning 8/1 for his weeklong trip, turns around halfway there to retrieve sunglasses from Gabe's car parked at our place.

-Gabe neglects to leave us his car keys, and although legally parked, gets blocked in during road construction. Construction has to dig AROUND his car to complete job. Spans 8/3-8/6. Hilarious.

-Annie picks Gabe up at fishing pier on Saturday morning 8/8, Gabe loads ~20 lb frozen yellowtail into Corolla trunk, in a trash bag.

-Annie drives to bootcamp with Gabe, and frozen yellowtail. Gives Gabe the keys, sends him on his way with the Corolla.

-Terry receives phone call around 8:30 am on Saturday 8/8. "Does Annie have a second set of keys to the car? I locked hers in the trunk. With the fish." Gabe is now stranded outside a liquor store trying to purchase ice for the trunk fish. Temperature is rising, the liquor store wasn't open yet, he definitely looks like an alcoholic.

-Terry bails Gabe out with the spare keys, both show up to bootcamp to pick me up. Defrosting yellowtail still in the trunk.

-Return to the apartment after post-workout smoothies. I claim no responsibility for what is now in my sink.

-Watch 2 minutes of youtube on how to fillet a fish, get to work. Outside. On a trash bag covered coffee table.

-Gabe forgets belt, unable to pull up pants with fish hands.

-Our technique starts to deteriorate.

-Invite friends over that know what they're doing (boot camp instructors Rachel and Justin). Gabe and Annie do dishes. Annie struggles for real washing the fillet knife.

-Gabe and Annie send picture to Gabe's mom inquiring about stitches. Consensus: yes, could use stitches. Annie doesn't feel like it. Busts out batman duct tape.

-Rachel and Justin show up with actual supplies, Annie sits with duct tape hand, Gabe watches quick youtube video on how to make yellowtail sashimi. Makes yellowtail sashimi with Justin.

-So much fish, makes yellowtail sashimi again. So much fish, barbecues fish. Still have half of fish left.

-Gabe plans to leave at 3 pm. At almost 4 pm, checks when his 200 pounds of additional fish (!) will be done processing. Processing plant closes at 4 pm. Asks to stay the night.

-Gabe wakes up on 8/9 at 6 am to pick up fish. At 8 am Annie finds Gabe's fishing pole near the door and a note reading that if the car breaks down he promises not to call before 10 am.

-8:30 am Gabe calls because he's picked up the fish, but car broke down and is smoking. The rattle from earlier in the week resurfaces.

-9:15 am Gabe enters the apartment like Kramer. Picks up fishing pole, fixes car, on his way.